Hi team! Today, nothing more than a series of random items, facts, and musings. Let’s begin!
- I may or may not be planning on leaving a 40oz Smirnoff Ice in the groom’s cake at an upcoming wedding. Best. Ice. Ever.
- Remember to watch the DNC debates this Wednesday! I’m particularly excited to watch Biden fumble at the one yard line, Tío Bernie attempt to court the Latino community after having never represented a constituent south of Brattleboro or darker than Tilda Swinton, Elizabeth Warren-G to bring down the house on these fools and bust out Punitive Plan 2020, and Buttigieg to be thoughtful, insightful, and an all around good guy among a sea of partisan gridlock and failed policies. Also, is Buttigieg French? Honestly, all the better. That guy can rest his épée in my scabbard whenever he likes.
- Speaking of Dem candidates. For those of you familiar with dame Marianne Williamson, have you ever seen a single piece of marketing with her name on it? Well now you have:
- You know, my father used to work in the circus – he was the guy they shot out of the cannon. A really great guy. A man of high caliber.
- Speaking of firearms, check out 1) these old school pistols, 2) this rifle made from ivory, and 3) a prosthetic leg with a built-in pistol that reminds me of the villain in Leslie Nielsen’s Wrongfully Accused (1998):
- Well, I’m back to work. I’m simply a god at reviewing financials and hunting down adjustments (non-recurring or non-continuing revenues and expenses that wouldn’t occur under different ownership of the business). I’ve spent years hunting down and sniffing out financial adjustments: I’m the reigning truffle pig of non-GAAP performance measures.