Mortal humans, do I have a gift for you! But before we dip our wicks into the bountiful fountain of American jingoism, I want you to fire up YouTube and enjoy the song of the day: Rise of the Chaos Wizards by Gloryhammer. Much like meatspin circa 2006, make sure to jack up your volumes before this takes you for a dizzying, nausea-inducing ride.
Now for the main event. My fellow Americans. I present to you. The chair, OF THE FUTURE:
I’m setting aside a minute for hushed admiration and awed silence. Genuflect. Shed a tear. Light a candle for how hard our economic engine is about to fuck China.
I’m off to the gym to hit the bag and get back into fucking shape. Read into that as you wish. In the meantime, I’d like to take everyone back to Sesame Street with my bad hombre Ernie. To quote the E-man, one of these things is not like the other:
Some of them have created tens if not hundreds of thousands of jobs out of thin air. Some of them have projected society into the future as a result of technical innovations and associated improvements in total factor productivity. Some of them have made a significant impact on the lives of millions of people around the world. And to paraphrase Tobias Fünke from Arrested Development, one of these individuals has her own Alias type show.