The ghost of Reagan is needed in the North, South, East, and West. Reagan take our hand, and our foreign-originated social media accounts, and show us the way to the promised land. Reagan bless this mess we call a midterm and see through to it that the good guys win the day (I’m willing to trade you Ted Cruz for a Red wave everywhere else).

I would gladly lend a hand but I’m all tied up in central Mexico, keeping tabs on the herd. It’s a daily grind, staying one town ahead of the caravan at all times, renting out rooms and restaurants so they arrive with zero accommodations, but someone needs to keep the rule of law and order. I am feeling a little pressure with the caravan constantly stepping at my heel. As the song goes in the beginning of Aladdin (who would’ve come here legally, or more likely following his marriage, on an EB-5 immigrant investor visa):

One jump ahead of the slowpokes
One skip ahead of my doom
Next time gonna use a nom de plume
One jump ahead of the hitmen
One hit ahead of the flock
I think I’ll take a stroll around the block

Well, time to get back to the grind. You can support our efforts by coming to the outskirts of Mexico City and buying a “Ocupar el Calle Cerca del Pared” t-shirt. Act fast because these will undoubtedly shoot up in value once we arrive at the Wall.

“I’ve always followed my father’s advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.” – John Wayne

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