I can’t be more clear that this is not at all what “she” said. Definitely didn’t say this.

Separately, I appreciated this sticker of Uncle Joe at the pump. It’s not at all accurate or reflective of the pricing mechanics of a globalized, highly standardized commodity that is freely traded in a market economy but hey, I’m fine blaming Joe. Probably best that he stop scapegoating an industry whose wings he and his predecessors clipped and start focusing on lining his own pockets. I don’t want any of this awkwardly touching and sniffing women shit on the 2024 campaign trail until Joe joins the three comma club. Only then can he sniff all the hair and the women will let him do it.

Finally, check out this sale! Marked down from $529.99 to $529.96. Seriously. Giant red letters and all:

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