Earlier this evening, I was walking into our kitchen when I said to Alexa “Alexa, play ‘sucking on my titties like you wanted me to'” only to immediately find that my bunking cousin was on speakerphone with someone. It was a customer service representative who heard the entire thing. Whoops. So I left the room to take care of some personal business.
Eight minutes later and three pounds lighter, I walked back into the kitchen and started with “Wow. My butt is a volcano of emotion right now.” only to hear the customer service representative ask “is that the same guy, ma’am?”