Hello, fellow freedom lovers! Today’s message is an email I was forwarded from a bad hombre North of the Rio Muuuuucho Grande. If you like freedom and want to see it displayed over every hearth and continuous track tread, visit the Ox Ranch in Uvalde, Texas.
Ox Ranch is currently open for business and taking bookings, however, with new quarantines changing by what feels like the hour, we’re just as confused as the rest of America on what we need to do as Americans and what we should do as a business.
Yesterday, Governor Greg Abbott issued essential services-only order for Texas until April 30th, and in it, hunting has been defined as essential.
We are continuing to offer hunts at this time and have decided to market the ranch as a personal quarantine ranch. Ox Ranch can become your very own private ranch for up to 50 of your friends and loved ones for $500,000 per month. We have over 10,000 animals to feed out here, and while this is an insane amount of money, it still is far below our monthly operating costs!
100% of the proceeds will be going towards our Rhino Conservation project. You will be able to name the first pair of breeding Rhinos and have unlimited access to their care and well being.
This all-inclusive package includes the following:
- Free Round trip Jet Pickup and dropoff on our private runway
- Private Cabins, food, and drinks for up to 50 guests
- 100% lockdown of the ranch. We will park a tank blocking the entrance!
- COVID-19 Testing of employees and your guests upon request and availability
- Fiber High-Speed internet
- On-Site medical personnel and armed security
- Unlimited Hog Hunting, Fishing, Giraffe-Feeding, Safaris & much more!
The best way to describe this package is that you will become the governor of Ox Ranch! You can have the majority of our staff at your disposal, or we can remove everyone but essential personnel needed to maintain the wildlife that you will not interact with.
You can drive excavators and dump trucks no problem!
Drive & Shoot tanks, machine guns, mortars, no problem!
Visit our private collection of caves and arrowhead hunting mounds, no problem!
If it’s legal and you can think of it, we’ll do our best to accommodate it!
If you have any interest at all in this package or booking a hunt, please reach out to our office staff at 830-275-4962 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
OX Ranch Management