Joe Exotic 2024

I know that nearly all of you are now familiar with Joe Exotic and the majority of you have now watched Netflix’s Tiger King in all its spectacular glory.  I’m going to do something I’ve never done before and promote a TV show right here and right now.  PLEASE do yourself the biggest favor possible and watch this show.

I don’t watch TV (as in I don’t even have cable, Netflix, Hulu, or the like), really don’t watch movies (I haven’t been to a theater in ~5 years), and am on zero social media platforms save for LinkedIn.  I’ve spent maybe 20 minutes of my life on Reddit and I don’t understand how it works.  I’ve spent an hour on Buzzfeed before realizing that my dog has more helpful tips and insights.  However, on a whim, I binge watched the shit out of Tiger King and it’s simply the greatest cast of characters imaginable.  Perhaps not the best “television” ever, but Joe and his ragtag crew of nitwits are some of the most real, most charming, and most categorically unfiltered personas this side of Carole’s saggy ass.  (Quick digression: did anyone else think that Carole is basically the long lost twin of President Clinton’s wife?  Also, how fucking incredible is it that this obnoxiously self-righteous woman spent years attempting to cast Joe as a cruel and psychotic villain when anyone who watched the show knows that Joe is the lovable underdog and she’s the smarmy, cold-hearted bitch?)  Please, if you care about America, watch these 7 episodes (~5.25 hours) and you’ll fall in love with Mr. Exotic.  Or, if he gets my letters and I do it right, Mr. Joseph Allen Maldonado-Passage-Malarkey.

I know that some of you will refuse to commit 5 hours to this endeavor so here’s the greatest presidential campaign video of all time.  Joe ran for president in 2016 and, well, this is a minute and a half long campaign video on YouTube: Joe Exotic for President! 2016.  For the love of Reagan, watch this.  Doesn’t the video remind you of Chris Farley’s original Matt Foley video where he lists all of his personal failures and shortcomings in quick succession?  It’s just so fucking epic.

My favorite quote from Joe’s campaign video: “I’ve had some kinky sex.  I have tried drugs, through the younger years of my life.  I am broke as shit.  I have a judgement against me from some bitch down there in Florida.”

Joe Exotic 2024/2028.