Anyone Else Notice That When Sheryl Sandberg Leaned In…

The entire company went sideways? After partnering with Morgan Stanley as lead-left, she really put her weight behind the IPO and ended up eating stock. SAD.

“I don’t know why she’d have any trouble, a piano could stand on those legs.” – Lucille Bluth (Double shoutout to those who really know the show: SAD is the Sons and Dads reunion project for GOB and STEVE HOLT!!!)

And finally, the timepiece of the day is the Casio Men’s FT500WVB-5BV from the Forester collection. Available for under $20 on Amazon (with +23,000 reviews), this thing seems super “Indiana Jones” to me and I love it:

This timepiece features an EL backlight with afterglow, water resistance to 100 meters, and adjustable band for the ever-expanding Silicon Valley Chief Operating Officer who can’t find time in her busy schedule to make it to the gym.

Okay, candidly team, I have nothing against Sheryl. It’s just that every time I look at her, I see celebrity chef Alex Guarnaschelli. See below:

You could follow her in a cafeteria and rest a lunch tray on that ass. It’s like two hippos wrestling under a circus tent… Sorry. In a past life, not unlike Alex, I gorged incessantly on episodes of Chopped and Cutthroat Kitchen. Alton Brown was a personal hero until I realized he had been lying to me for years and was actually straight.

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