Fuck Nelly Furtardo

Fuck Nelly (Michael Bluth?  There’s a Nellie waiting for you at the end of the bar.) Furtado and her misandrist bullshit.

Gee wiz, with a narcissistic, overly aggressive anti-male message like that, she’d have to stay attractive. Ope, OHHHHH SHITTT!!!!

I’ve never seen someone forced to enter Grauman’s Chinese Theatre one hip(po) at a time.  That ass.  It looks like a couple of hippos wrestling under a circus tent.  I didn’t realize the “Man” in Maneater was a euphemism for craft service.  I gotta steal one from Rodney here: she’s so fat, every time she wears high heals she strikes oil.  Hopefully that’s the end of it.  Then BOOM!!!!

First off, love the dress.  The universe called, it’s missing it’s backdrop.  Secondly, what a wonderful haircut.  I guess this means Big Nelly has graduated from eating men to munching on rug?

“The lion is most handsome when looking for food” – Rumi.  Nelly the Belly must have two-carat diamonds oozing out of her pores (A million fucking diamonds!) and portraits of John Stamos dropping from her anus.

Nelly could stand to learn a thing or two from Chestie, who seems to have fully grasped life’s more salient ambitions.  Although, her hip looks more like a plexor (used by doctors to test muscle reflexes) than a part of the human body.  I’ll continue to chat with Chest (we have cute little nicknames for each other) and keep readers abreast of any updates.

(Evidently I’ve been harboring this one for years, patiently waiting for Nelly’s thyroid or pointer finger to give out)