Things I’ve Done to my Wife’s Favorite Car (10/2/2025)

I’m starting a new thread today. Having many years of car stories saved up, it’s time I start sharing these. Let’s start with the relatively benign.

We had Mexican food last weekend. Went to the restaurant with the family, although I drove separately. I had a very, very meaty dish and had lots of steak chunks stuck in my teeth.

I picked up two fake Rolexes a few weeks ago. Really nice but really fake. I couldn’t decide on the blue face or the green face so I got both. Was wearing one of those bad boys the night of the Mexican restaurant.

We finish eating and I get in my wife’s car to head home. Uh oh! My tongue has gotten caught on another wedged chunk of steak. Time to fish that pound of flesh out with my fingers. So I do. And I lower the window half-way and go to flick that meat out the window.

Instead, I slam my (fake) Rolex down on the edge of the window glass, scratch the watch, and the piece of beef I just flicked off my fingernail bounces off the top of the door frame and ricochets into the driver side air vent. There’s a piece of dead cow forever stuck in the ventilation system, joining what is now effectively a charcuterie board of gas station meats, urine, dog food, and salsa verde in the system.

This is my wife’s favorite car. She’s had it for decades. There’s lots of nostalgia there. And now some cholesterol.