Category: Love and Relationships

Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?

Had one of those mornings recently.  Not the sort where you're sitting at your desk stroking your chin, only to catch a faint whiff of last evening's cooter on your one hand, then coconut oil and asshole on the other.  No, I'm talking something good. After sharing some tinder profiles with friends, I've been told... Continue Reading →

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If I were Jesus…

And I had the opportunity to escape and jump into those sweater puppets, I'd probably stick to the cross too. Talk about having a tough time weighing your options...

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Random Bidtits (7/7/2016)

That's it, I'm changing the tag line on my tinder account. Probably not appropriate for Random Bidtits; I really had to stretch to insert this one (see what I did there?).

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Hotness Pricing Model (Analytics Included)

Today's posting is an unadulterated guest submission.  While this was drafted a number of years ago, the idealistic, romantic pillars on which it rests remain intact.  Please remember that while looks are important, your primary concern is to find a gal who is one part rapacious capitalist, two parts lets you shit with the door open.... Continue Reading →

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Playing it Smooth

It's midweek and I get home at 11:45 pm from an evening of rambunctious, inebriated fun.  I'm drunk.  I'm hungry.  And I'm horny.  As soon as I step in the door I pull out my phone and message every tinder contact and local floozy who has the grave misfortune of sitting in my contact list.  After casting... Continue Reading →

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Random Bidtits (6/1/2016)

Curious about the quickest way to watch a woman put on weight?  It's not by taking creatine.  It's not by buying a cat or by joining a book club.  It's not pregnancy.  It's not even by moving her to rural Ohio.  The quickest way to watch a woman pack on the pounds is simply by starting at... Continue Reading →

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Confessions from a NYC Subway

  Oh boy. In the subway? This is going to have a lot of hair on it. Probably good he's wearing a raincoat. Wonder if its written in Hebrew (read right to left); would make sense given he's planning on starting at the back and making his way forward. Takes me back to the days of poor... Continue Reading →

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