But before we get to the song of the day, have any of you ever motorboated a girl so hard that you poked your eye on the nipple? Breasts are violence. Women are violence. Another quick question: have you ever had those muggy summer days when you walk back from work, get home, and refuse... Continue Reading →
Picking Up Cat Food and Frozen Dinner4One for the Debate
#goingnative #imwithher...again
Good Luck with Your Fantasy Football Drafts!
I always think of my gay friend who went to the NFL after playing college. He started off as a tight end and ended up a wide receiver. Unrelated: here's the greatest piece of swag I've ever seen from the lads of Top Gear / Grand Tour:
What Would it Look Like if Sam Elliott’s Upper Lip Was Giving Birth to Lucy Liu’s Love Child?
For reference: I'll stop here and let you figure out the Lucy Liu part before this really takes a sideways turn. And finally. Balls. Arrested Development devotees will recall that I have an obligation here:
Pickles Playing Pickleball
Annyong! I'm in search of the impossible. Below is a pair of Nantucket reds with an embroidered pattern of crickets playing cricket and squash playing squash (currently $40 at Macy's). While I absolutely love these, I'm in hot pursuit of some Nantucket reds with pickles playing pickleball. I'm going to guess that Polo's Chief Design... Continue Reading →
I Have the Heart of a Lion…
and now the zoo is looking for me. Zing! Count it.
The Shadow: What Did the One Head Lice Say to the Other Head Lice?
"Are you new to this part?" Bonus: Why did the baker apply for the open job? Because he needed the dough.
Random Bidtits (8/1/2019)
Did you know that the Wikipedia page for "Jesus Christ" has a total of 457 reference citations while the Wikipedia page for "LeBron James" has a total of 408? Oh, and "Pope Francis" has 581, "List of LGBT Firsts by Year" has 258, and "Sexuality in Ancient Rome" has 692. Tough love, Jesus. Those pesky... Continue Reading →
He’s My Lawyer, Though. Good Lawyer, Very Good Lawyer…
...he had a rape charge reduced to tailgating. "How fat is she?" When she gets out of the water, she leaves a ring around the lake. - Rodney Dangerfield
Rent Is Too Damn High!
Who here remembers the Rent Is Too Damn High Party of yesteryear? According to Wikipedia, the Rent Is Too Damn High Party is a political party, primarily active in the state of New York, that has nominated candidates for mayor of New York City in 2005 and 2009, and for governor and senator in 2010.... Continue Reading →
Musings and Malarkey 
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